life constantly and consistently
touching
talking

           watching

full of fear and frustration
and loathing

it's clear that nothing is
and afraid that nothing will

self-delusion to make the drink go down
pain;            to ease the pain

just ambition

just ideas not yet formed
               not yet realized

lust, alcohol, and a fucked up sense of duty
       
                          or kindness

unclear of what is and has been and will be
unclear of why
     
            or

               why?